Wifing, verb: a post in which I invent verbs and use way too many parentheses.

Wifing, verb: a post in which I invent verbs and use way too many parentheses.

Wifing. That’s right. It’s a made up word. At least it’s spelled in a pleasing way and not totally off its rocker like Kathy’s Kats or Kool Krazy Kitten Shop. Though it does look like Wifi-ing. Is Wifi-ing a thing? My wifing is kind of like adulting but different. I’ll admit, it’s one of those modern, obnoxious, invented verbs that really has no official meaning unless you consider Urban Dictionary official. But I’m dang good at it.

Just ask Cam. No really, he KNOWS it. I tend to overdo everything – EVERYTHING – I do. When it comes to pleasing people outside of my family, I’m on top of it! Need a hand with something? I might have a broken foot, ear infection, and a sore neck, but you bet I’ll be there anyway to help you. I’m just that type of person. It honestly does become a problem, ha! I’m working on that.

I totally don’t have any broken feet, infected ears, or sore necks. Neck. Knock on wood. It was an example, just go with it.

I’m the same, if not worse, with my family. Generally, I do everything, fix everything, work on everything, feed everything, everything everything for my family. Does it mean I skip my walk or eat lunch two hours late? Sure, that’s okay! (No it’s not.) Does it mean that my office project takes 26 months instead of a week – who cares! Let’s fold some more laundry because you are just “too tired” to do it for yourself! (Tsk.) I do a lot. And that’s okay as long as I look out for myself while I’m doing it but that’s a skill I’m still learning to implement. I have to find that balance.

Wifing is something similar though not in a negative way, because to be honest, I kinda love it. Like, a lot. Wifing is a form of this do-everything, make-everyone-happy, put-everything-else-to-the-side idea but it has to do with my husband. I LOVE my husband. We may not agree on everything (he’s asking himself right now what we DO agree on) and we argue and engage in lively, heated, banter like any other married couple but I LOVE him. Just as he is.

Regardless – I enjoy doing things for him. I have this sort of unspoken responsibility to being with him when we’re in down time at the same time. Like in the evenings – would I like to be in the office maybe writing a blog post or obsessively scrubbing the window trim? Perhaps. But, I’m generally downstairs playing my 3DS while suffering through This Old House because he wants to watch it. I wouldn’t want to leave him all lonely down there on the couch watching his show. Yes, I’m aware of how ridiculous that sounds. Do I have 6,932 TV series that I would love to binge watch and follow for months on end chronologically? YES. Ha, oh my gosh, YES. But if we don’t both like a series, we generally don’t watch it, so that’s a lot of started series that just sit. They sit on my queue where I tell myself that during my down time alone, I’ll just watch it then – ha!

Now, I don’t say these things to tattle or sound as if I’m looking for people to reprimand me and scold my tendencies, saying I do too much that he wants to do. I certainly do the massive majority of the housework and tend to the children. But he does all of the yard work. He’s our full-time, hard working, bread-winner which lets me stay at home. He does dishes every night after dinner and fills the dishwasher – honestly, he does a lot. I’m definitely not complaining. We each sort of have our own spots, albeit fluid roles that are still getting working out the kinks and switching things up every once in a while. You have to be flexible, right? And my few minutes here and there that are free, the only person making me feel guilty for sitting down is me! Again, something I’m working on.

So, point being, Cameron is Seattle for three days this week. Well, what feels like three days. It’s actually more like 2-1/2 depending on how you count it out. But while he’s gone, I’m trying to take the time to Wife less, and Melissa more. (More verb invention!) During the day nothing is really changing, though you can tell the little girls aren’t considering it “work time” where he’s usually gone. They’ve been missing him hard even though if he were “home” he wouldn’t be home anyway! I’m generally on my own with the kids (summer now, so plural, four of them) every weekday minus 30 minutes or so of his lunch break, so that’s nothing new. But evenings are long, even with him home. I’m not looking forward to the witching hours. Dinner and bedtime are chaos and with summer upon us it’s been hard to stick to my guns about not having a giant kid sleepover EVERY night and watching Netflix in bed EVERY night.

But after bedtime is sacred time, man. It’s mom time. No, no – MELISSA time. Usually it’s Melissa/Wifing time. But for the next three nights – it’s just Melissa. I could game on the (new!) PC. I could write. I could read. I could draw. I could obsess over my new GORGEOUS planner. I could play my 3DS. I could organize. I could quilt. I could cross stitch. I could clean. I could play the Wii U. I could drink soda and not care that I’ll be up late. I could do gymnastics. I can do whateeeeever I want. It hasn’t been all that pleasant. At first. I totally just spent over an hour commenting and sharing crap with friends on Facebook. Really, Melissa? FAIL. And while I miss my husband, and am counting the minutes to when his flight should land and he can call and check in (seriously, DON’T DIE) I’m kind of enjoying this special free time I don’t usually get. I don’t need to worry about him, I don’t need to worry about the kids – ultimately, I can do whatever I’d like with my time.

So, here’s to learning to be by myself. It doesn’t need to be all the time, and it doesn’t need to be negative. It doesn’t even need to be fully alone. But ultimately – it does need to be.

psst… apparently that’s what I need to get posting on this beast? free time! (right.)

Challenge #7 -and- Challenge #8

Challenge #7 -and- Challenge #8

Doubling up today so I can catch back up. Tsk tsk.

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babs

Challenge #7: What’s your dream job? My dream job. Well, to be honest, I’m really doing my dream job just being a mom. The hours are long, the pay is less than traditional, but it’s got great benefits. Well, beyond the whole missing-being-pregnant-thing. And that potty-training is like… like… yeah, it’s so traumatic, I can’t even come up with a simile. (Simile: do you feel like you’re back in 3rd grade?) It has its ups and downs, but what doesn’t, right? RIGHT?

Another in-home job, that I’d love to successfully accomplish, is writing. I’d love to be author of a book that people actually read! I’ve always loved writing and I have ridiculous amounts of writing saved from my earlier years. I’d never give up being a mom, but my kiddos go to bed at 7:30 –  can’t I do something during bedtime? Ooh, or during school hours! I’m only four years away from freedom during the day!

As far as out of the home, I think we all know the answer to that. When I originally started going to school I had my eye on an MLIS degree – Master of Library and Information Science. You know, to be a Librarian. swoon Seriously. Tell me I’ve never come off as Marian to you? We all know it’s true.

or, add a bit of Chenoweth…

And just for fun:

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Onto Challenge #8: Biggest pet peeve. omg i luv this q! u r 2 funny! imho u r da bomb – holla!

Wait, what?

dats riiii!!! wut u doinnn grl?

Could I get a definition for the word “wut”?

y r u alll up n my biznes?

Wait wait, I got why, let me just try to–

OHH, dats my babby daddy, g2g!!!!!! 

… Yeah. That. Or we could just sum it all up as “deterioration of the English language” – that works too.

Pairing up worked nicely, those two fit together well. Excuse me while I go dream up a Dewey Decimal arrangement for my bookcases.

Challenge #6

Challenge #6

First: a few thoughts.

– Why did I start this challenge, just days before Spring Break with four children under the age of 9?

– Yes. #6 was for the 26th. Fail.

– I’ve lost 6.5 pounds so far! Follow me here.

Carry on.

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DSC_0065-0012Posting for Tuesday! I was gone all of Tuesday visiting Grammy & Pa in McMinnville with my quartet of nerdlings. Traveling just 45 minutes with that many wigglies in the back makes the trek seem days longer! It was delightful on the way home, though. ALL four eventually passed out. I managed to stay awake. We all had a busy day visiting, playing, loving, sewing, chatting, and of course eating! Grammy made a delicious lunch and the kids each ate their weight in coconut M&Ms and Hockey Pucks (a special chocolate covered cookie that Grammy is famous for.) [The girls are in their sweet, matching outfits that Grammy made!]

My last random act of kindness. I’m not all that great at these. I do a lot of things for other people, but I tend to not bring it to attention. Being a mom of four kids makes my days full of small random acts of kindness, though I think we’ve all sort of grown accustomed to them. So that doesn’t make them very random…

The last non-mom random act of kindness I can think of was when I made Cameron a surprise cheesecake. Thrilling! I need to get better at this, lol. I guess I can add this to my list of things that I need to work on!

The baker’s dozen

The baker’s dozen

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At any given time during my day with four children, I’m doing (about) a dozen things at once. So this morning, as I’m making a dozen bagel-egg-cheese-ham breakfast sandwiches for the freezer, I’m also busy texting Cam and entertaining the whining children. (Me: Just ask Duncan to help you make your bed, honey. I’ve got to stay by the eggs. Rae: BUT I DON’T WANT A BOY TOUCHING MY BED! Maybe we should enforce this idea for assistance in later years? Ugh.)

So, Cam’s texting me about this plant we have in the front flower bed – you know, the ONE PLANT that decided it wasn’t an annual anymore and just burst into enthusiastic perennial status. All on its lonesome. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOWER BED. Really annoying. If its little friends had decided to join him, I wouldn’t be too upset. But it just keeps growing and growing becoming a larger and larger mass RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. I just need to start stating, outside and out loud, “I do NOT want anything to be symmetrical, matching, or aesthetically pleasing in any way shape or form.”

“Testing me are you, hmm? THE OPPOSITE, DONE, WILL BE. Yeesssssss,” says Nature.  (Or Yoda, take your pick.)

Anyway! [Again.] So, I’m obsessing over this in my head as Cameron is texting me. There’s a sudden lull in the texting and my phone beeps. It’s an email from my dad – I open up the email and the subject is a reply from a subscription email that reads, “Re: [New Post] Challenge Day #3” – aaand cue all the blood to drain from my face. DAY FOUR. I MISSED IT. Enter the baker’s dozen: the blog has always kind of been that random 13th item that you suddenly remember – OH, that one thing that I said I was going to post and not forget! How on earth did I forget?! It’s not like had 12 other things going on all at once!

NO EXCUSES! BLOG FAIL! The blogGods are laughing at me right now.

Days #4 and #5 will post today. AND! Countertop photos! (Nudge-nudge, Gma Cole!)